Returning to sadness and new life
by EonaDGM
Summary: Harry hasn't been in England for five years. Now he returns after hearing of a new threat. But what will he find there? What happened to his friends? And his lover. Is Draco fine? Shounen-Ai, SiriusxRemus; mentions of Drarry and mpreg
**Hello everyone,**

 **This is my second story for HP and a bit similar to the first.**

 **Warnings are the same: Shounen-ai, Drarry, SiriusxRemus (means both of them didn't die), Mpreg in more than one case this time, Canon being completely ignored and kind of character death here as well**

 **So you have been warned, no flames and if you don't like it just click on the 'back' button on your browser.**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned HP Draco would have changed to the light side from the beginning. But I don't.**

* * *

With a loud crack a figure appears in a small town on the outskirts of London. Tousled black hair falls into his face from under the hood of the long dark cloak he is wearing. Carefully he lifts his blazing green eyes behind rounded glasses. Peering at the greyish surroundings he hasn't been in for five years.

Five years ago he was last seen in his home country, England. Five years ago when he defeated the big evil Lord Voldemort. After the dark wizard was dead he left the country, desperately in need of a calm environment after a life filled with Voldemort's presence looming over each of his movements, the expectations every single person placed in him and the public attention that came with being the saviour of the wizarding world. So after the final battle and defeating Voldemort he simply left without telling anyone where he went. He felt like he needed that.

And now he is back. Originally he didn't want to but after rumours of another dark lord reaching him in his secluded location he is back. After five years of being considered missing Harry Potter is back in the wizarding world of England. Softly rain drizzles from the sky.

"Great welcome back," he murmurs while looking in the sky, "At least there is no sign of a new evil obvious. Maybe it was only rumours? The question is where to go first." He closes his eyes for a moment, 'I hope you are all alright. I'm sorry that I had to disappear. I am looking forward to seeing you all. Let's see what has changed in the five years I have missed.'

Pulling the hood deeper into his face and placing a glamour over himself he apparates into London. Grimmauld Place to be exact. The last time he was here was at the last meeting of the order of the phoenix after being effectively shocked by his godfathers proclaiming that they were in a relationship. He is looking forward to seeing Sirius and Remus again and finding out whether they are (actually) still together. His heart is beating loudly in his chest as number 12 appears and he steps up to the door. With a slightly shaking hand he knocks.

From inside he hears a voice and a squeal followed by a small laugh and footsteps towards the door. Harry holds his breath when it opens. A smiling Remus is standing there, head turned backwards inside the house. To the raven's surprise he spots a small child of about two years in the older man's arms who squeals as soon as it sees Harry.

"Har," the little girl says as she can see under his hood from her position.

The werewolf still smiles despite the sad hint in it when he turns, but as Harry lifts his hood slightly and the amber eyes land on the boy, this smile slips. His eyes widen and the grip on the girl in his arms tightens.

"H-Harry? Is that you?" he says in an unsure voice.

Pulling his hood off, the raven smiles nervously, "Nice to see you, Remus. Yes, it's me."

"Oh Merlin," the older breathes, "I would hug you now, but as you can see, my arms are occupied."

"I understand. Who is this little lady?" still nervous, Harry answers.

"Come in, I will explain. You have missed quite a bit," at this the younger earns a somehow sad look.

Ushering the raven inside he takes a look outside, then closes the door. After pointing to the kitchen, he turns to the stairway and yells up.

"Sirius, come down immediately. We have a visitor."

A grumble is hear then fast steps down the stairs. A wavy haired brunette comes down, throwing a disgruntled look.

"What is it so urgently? We weren't expecting anyone, right? I didn't forget anything, did I?"

"No," Remus smiles up at his husband, "But someone returned to us. Come, they are in the kitchen."

Looking curious and slightly suspicious Sirius looks down the stairs. But the werewolf only smiles, pecks the other on the lips and moves forward. When the brunette sees who is in the kitchen his eyes widen. Harry has meanwhile shed his coat and jumps up as soon as he sees his godfather.

"Sirius!"

"Harry!" the older moves forward and grabs his godson in a tight hug, "Merlin, we thought you were dead! You just disappeared!"

"I'm sorry, really I am. But I needed a break from all the expectations, fighting and fans."

"And why did you come back now?" he asks as the two separate.

"I heard rumours about a new dark lord here and I didn't want my friends to fight alone."

The two adults exchange a look and frown, "Well, I don't know where you hid, but said wizard has already been defeated over a year ago."

"So there was another?" Harry asks nervously.

"Well yes," Remus says uncomfortably, "Lucius Malfoy somehow managed to absorb something of lord Voldemort. A year after he was defeated, Malfoy proclaimed himself the new dark lord. After being weakened from the last war it took both sides some time to get up to the fight again. The first years was only small attacks and terrorizing. Fifteen months ago was the battle. We won again but unfortunately with quite some losses."

Another sad look is sent to the boy but he doesn't notice. His thoughts are too preoccupied by the name Malfoy. Hearing it sent a stab through him. Memories flooding him. Good memories and the knowledge that he really has to apologize to some persons.

"What about his son? Draco fought on our side against Voldemort, did he follow his father or did he fight again?"

The two adults exchange a pained look, "Draco still fought on our side, but I think you should talk with your friends about that."

"Hermione and Ron? Are they fine?" he asks eagerly.

"They are completely fine, married three years ago," Sirius answers, "I will go call them. They won't believe this," he says as he leaves the room.

With the brunette gone, Harry's attention focuses back on the little girl in Remus' arms, "So who is this?"

"Lily Arianna Black," the older smiles, "She's mine and Sirius daughter."

"What?" the raven looks surprised, "You don't mean that one of you carried her, do you?"

"Of course I do, I carried her for nine months," the other grins, "Didn't you know that in the wizarding world, males can carry children as well. Most of the time with potions but some purebloods can do it without."

"Oh wow. Hey there, little lady," Harry leans down and coos at the infant, "If one day I have children of my own, I want them to be as cute as you, Lily."

He misses the sad look on the older's face who is watching him. Remus thinks that Harry would be good with his own kid. And what the boy missed. It will be a shock when he finds it out, that much is for sure. But both are interrupted by Sirius sticking his head through the door.

"Hermione and Ron are up in the sitting room. I haven't told them yet that you are back. Go up, you know the way, Harry," he says and then turns to his husband, "It's best to leave them alone, Remus. How about we go up and give Lily a bath?"

"Good idea," the other says and raises, "Go on, Harry, they are waiting for you."

Nodding nervously, the saviour of the wizarding world stands up as the two adults leave the room. While walking to the mentioned room, his anxiety rises. Of course he is looking forward to see his friends again, but he also can't await to question them about what happened to Draco. No one but his two best friends knew of their relationship during the war. Of course it also had to end when Harry left and he misses his lover. It must have been hard for the blonde after his own father turned into the next dark lord. Harry can only hope that the pureblood can ever forgive him for leaving him alone with all that happened afterwards.

By then he has reached the living room's door. It is halfway open and he is standing in the shadow so he can observe his friends. They have grown up as well as he has. They are sitting close together, with one of Ron's arms around the girl. The red hair is cut short and the blue eyes have lost a bit of their former temper. Hermione's hair is pulled in a braid that reaches her chest and the brown orbs have a tired hint in them. Harry is shocked to see a child sitting on the brunette's lap, talking animatedly about something. The raven frowns as he notices that the boy must be already about four or five years old. He can't remember that Hermione was pregnant in the time he was there. Also the boy's hair is as black as his own, though straighter, not so unruly. Why do they have that child? He doesn't look like any of them (not that he can see the boy's face as he's sitting with the back to the door) and he's relatively old.

Taking a deep breath, he finally pushes the door open. The creaking alerts the figures on the couch. Hermione and Ron look up, gaping at the entering figure. The small boy turns curious silver eyes in a fine cut face on the older raven who sees the girl's arms around the child tighten.

"Who is this?" the little boy is the first to break the silence.

"Harry?" Hermione breathes out and then, setting the boy on the ground, throws herself at Harry, "I knew you would come back. Where were you? We tried everything to reach you, but we couldn't," she sobs into his shoulder.

Ron too stands up and walks over, "Merlin mate, we really missed you. And you missed out on quite some things."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I really needed a break," he whispers in hope that his friends will understand.

Their reunion though is broken again by the small boy, tugging at Hermione's pant leg, "Who is this, auntie Mione?"

Sighing sadly the girl frees herself and bends down to lift him up, "This is…" she stops and exchanges a look with Ron, "…a friend we thought we would never see again."

The boy turns, staring at Harry. A sting goes through the older as painfully familiar grey eyes stare at him. The little one looks way too much like his former lover. Has Draco moved on so fast? Nonetheless he smiles and looks at the boy.

"Everywhere I turn I see children I have never seen before. Who might you be, young man?"

"His name is Leo," Hermione intervenes, "Where were you, Harry?"

"I, uh, I was hiding somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Canada. I needed somewhere no one would recognize me," he explains nervously.

They both nod, exchange another look and then the girl sets Leo down on the ground, "How about you search Remus and Sirius, Leo? They should be upstairs. Ron and I need to talk with Harry a bit."

The young boy nods eagerly and dashes off. As soon as he's gone, the raven can ask all the questions that have been bugging him since he first saw the boy.

"Who is he? He's not your son, is he? He called you auntie after all. And he looks pretty old."

"No, he's not our son. And he's a good four and a half years old," Hermione answers, a sad expression on her face.

"Four and a half? That means he was born shortly after the war. Why is he with you?" and then he asks the question he dreads to get answered, "And why does he look so much like Draco?"

"Yes, he was born about half a year after you left. He looks like Draco, because," her voice breaks slightly, "he is Draco's son."

A cold feeling settles in Harry's stomach and he is not sure whether it is because his former lover has a child or because of the sad tone in the girl's voice when she says his name.

"Hermione, where is Draco?"

Silence meets him and the two exchange a sad look. Ron nods and hugs the brunette shortly. She then moves to Harry who is getting a really bad feeling because he is not getting an answer. Instead Hermione holds out her arm to him.

"Come," she says softly.

His throat feels too constricted to speak so he simply grabs her hand and not one second later he feels the suffocating feeling of apparition. When he opens his eyes again, he is standing on the border of a forest, a meadow behind them. Silently she waves him to follow her inside the green. After a short walk they come out on a clearing.

With gravestones.

Harry sucks in a painful breath when Hermione steps up to one of them.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she says slightly teary, "But…"

"Draco is dead."

A huge wave of dread and sadness washes over the raven. Now he understands all the sad looks he got since he arrived. Tears spring to his eyes. The word 'dead' echoes around his head. The knowledge that maybe if he didn't cowardly run away, he could have saved the person he loved the most, shoots a painful sting through him, causing the tears to spill over.

"How…?" he breathes, softly moving forwards to touch the words 'Draco Black' on the gravestone before him.

"Look at the date," Hermione says sadly.

The green eyes wander over Draco's birthdate to the day of his death, 12.6.2004. He sucks in a breath.

"That was one year and… three months ago," he says through tears.

The girl nods, "Fifteen months."

Then Harry remembers having heard the term 'fifteen months' before, "The final battle…" he whispers.

Again Hermione nods, "Yes, he died after defeating his father. You have to know that after the first war and then your disappearance the wizarding world was in need of a lot rebuilding. The fighting morale was absolutely down. We had just fought a war and no one could handle another. But then only one year after it was over, Lucius Malfoy rose as a new dark lord. Most people didn't want to fight anymore. And while Malfoy could motivate his followers with the promise of revenge after losing the first time and cleansing the world, the light side could not. Too many people had lost loved ones in the war, they were tired. And I understand them, we were too. But we also knew that we couldn't do nothing. But with you being gone, they had no leader to look up to and most didn't want to fight or felt lost. They had just lost their spirit. We all kind of had. We only learned how dependant we were on you then. Only Draco wasn't. He was the one who organized and motivated the light side. At the beginning there was a lot of distrust towards him, because he was obviously a Malfoy. But he proved himself over and over again until the whole light side believed in him. I think they saw in him some kind of new saviour after you weren't there anymore. At the final battle he had enough followers and we fought and won. But at a high cost. He went off to face his father alone like you did with Voldemort. He defeated him with a spell he devised. But different from you he didn't have your miraculously high magical power or ability to come back from the dead. He had to use his life energy to help fuel the spell to banish the dark lord once and for all. He died in my arms, Harry."

By now both are crying and the raven pulls his friend into an embrace, "So if I had been there… If I hadn't left, he wouldn't have had to become the new leader and…"

But Hermione puts a finger over his lips, "Maybe. But it could also still have ended in him getting killed. Don't blame yourself for his death. Not again. Don't think we didn't notice you doing it because of everyone who was even remotely close to us. You are not at fault. Not for Cedric's death, not Dumbledore's, not Tonks' and not Draco's either. He chose his path and he probably saved the whole world. You were most likely his motivation in doing so anyway."

He swallows hard, "Did… Did he think me dead as well?"

"I am not sure," she shakes her head sadly, "Ron and I didn't. He always said that if you knew of this war you would come because of your hero complex. I suspected he did think so, but at the time he didn't have the opportunity to properly mourn. Over everything happening in his life, he had more important things. He did try searching for you. Not personally but what he could do from home, but we only got the confirmation that you were alive and most likely on the American continent the morning of the battle. We were on our way out to the confrontation when the owl arrived. We wanted him to read the message, but he said there was no time and he would do it after the battle. Well, he never got to that."

"Leo happened, did he?" Harry asks with a hard hint in his voice.

Being lost in memories, Hermione simply nods, "Yeah, Leo was born and kept him busy until the problems with his father were added to it."

Supressing a wet snort, the raven tries not to feel betrayed, "So who was the lucky mother? Whose child helped him over grieving for me?"

Surprised teary brown eyes lift up to him, "What do you mean?"

"Well, who carried Leo? Judging by when he was born, he must have slept with her while I was still there," he growls, eyes still swimming.

He is shocked by Hermione wrenching herself away from him and glaring harshly at him, "Don't accuse Draco of cheating, he never did! Despite him being awful to us the first years he was one of the most faithful persons I have ever met. And if you have to know who carried Leo, it was Draco himself in case you didn't get it yet."

"W-What?" Harry chokes on his breath, "So Draco was…"

"Pregnant during the end of the war," the girl finishes in a cold voice.

"Oh god," the raven sinks to his knees, "Leo is… Is he?"

"If you want to know whether he's your son, yes he is. His full name is Leo Severus Black-Potter. Why do you think his name is Leo? Leo is Latin for lion. The lion is the symbol for Gryffindor. Draco was a Slytherin, a snake. He had no reason to name is son Leo. Only if…" she explains sadly.

"If his other father was a Gryffindor or the epitome of Gryffindork as he put it…" he whispers, crying again.

Nodding sadly, Hermione kneels in front of him, "Draco gave birth to Leo nearly seven months after the war ended. He said he didn't want to burden you with this news while you had the fate of the whole world on your shoulders, that's why he never told you. And you disappeared before he could do so after the battle. Nobody apart from the Weasleys, Remus, Sirius and me knows you are his other father. Everyone else was told the boy's other parent disappeared during the war. That includes Leo himself. He's not even five, we didn't want to explain it to him yet. And with the possibility of you coming back, we didn't want to confuse him. He remembers Draco, though fuzzy and he knows he's dead. It was like Draco knew that his time with his son was limited because he always had him around no matter where he was, well apart from when he was fighting. He said it was because the boy was a target of the dark side, as our leader's son. So often enough we would be sitting in a tactical meeting and he had Leo in his arms, who was happily suckling away on a milk bottle, while Draco talked about plans to storm death-eater strongholds. He was leading a whole side of the war with a baby on his hip," she shakes her head fondly at the memory, "I have even got it recorded. Do you want to see it?"

Mechanically Harry nods and Hermione pulls a muggle camera out of her pocket. She presses some buttons then holds the screen out to her friend. Pressing 'play' a small film starts.

 _It is a small room somewhere in Hogwarts judging by the stone walls. It is bustling with people, many who were in the former order of the phoenix. In the middle of the room is a round table with a map with markings on it. Papers are strewn around it. On one end Ron and a light-blond man are leaning over the drawing and discussing something, the blonde pointing at the map and the other shuffling with some papers._

 _Both lift their heads as the camera comes closer. Grey eyes narrow at the camera while Ron grins. Draco Malfoy, or Black as he wants to be called now, stares at whoever is holding the camera slightly exasperated. As he straightens, his left arm comes up from behind him, showing an about-a-year-old infant peacefully cuddled into it, sleeping soundly. Unconsciously the small child is moved up to the man's chest and cradled in both arms._

 _"_ _Hermione, put that camera away," Draco sighs, "We are trying to work here. Do you have to record everything?"_

 _"_ _Sure," her voice sounds from somewhere out of the picture, "So I can show Harry when he comes back."_

 _Another sigh, "You could just show him your memories. Magic, remember?"_

 _At that moment the baby wakes apparently and lets out an unwilling sound, but everybody seems already used and Draco immediately pulls the bundle closer, rocking and shushing it. After five minutes it quiets down and falls back to sleep. The blonde turns back to Ron._

 _"_ _So where were we before your wife interrupted you?"_

 _"_ _She's not my wife," the red head blushes._

 _"_ _Not? Haven't had the courage to ask yet, Weasley?" Draco teases with a weak smirk, "You are behaving like a married couple though."_

 _Ron coughs loudly and turns back to the map, "Err, we were talking about that death-eater hideout twenty miles away from Hogwarts."_

At that point a finger presses stop and the figures on the screen freeze. Harry doesn't even notice he is crying. His lover looks so alive in that video. Tired but filled with life and strength, but now he can only stare at his grave.

"He was incredible," Hermione whispers, "Managing being the leader of our side and a single father at the same time. I don't think any of us could have done it. Of course we all helped as best as we could in both parts, but he still did the most work. That he had to give his life as well is not fair. He worked so hard, but still didn't get his happy ending."

Harry doesn't even know what to say and just stares at his lover's grave, apologising over and over again in his head. For quite some time the two just sit there, thinking about the person they lost. Then Hermione stands up and holds out a hand to the man.

"And now you have to be strong for him. You are the single father now. You have to look after Leo. Draco wanted that. Do you want to know what his last words were?" she smiles sadly.

He grabs her hand mechanically and nods tiredly.

"If Harry ever returns tell him he's a bastard for just leaving like that, but I still love him and would always forgive him if he came back. He has to look after Leo and give him all the love I couldn't anymore. He is not allowed to fall back into depression again. Say him thank you from me as well for changing me, giving me a new chance, love and Leo. And thank you to you all for the trust and help. Farewell everyone," she recites word by word.

"Oh god, I didn't deserve him," the raven breathes.

"You did. You were the saviour of the wizarding world after all," she soothes him and pulls him in a hug, "And even if you didn't he loved you regardless. Gave you a son. For Leo you have to live now. Will you do that, Harry? Draco wanted that you look after him, but if you will just disappear again, be it physically or into your mind, Leo will stay with us. So answer my question honestly."

"No, I will live for him and the sacrifice Draco made," Harry says, his voice as strong as he manages.

She smiles and nods. Then grabbing his hand, she apparates them both back to Grimmault place. As soon as they step into the corridor they are assaulted by a small raven haired boy.

"Where were you so long?" he pouts up at the two.

"We were at Draco's grave, little one," Hermione strokes his hair.

"Is daddy well?" the boy asks eagerly.

Softly smiling, the girl hoists him up in her arms, "Yeah, your daddy is well but he misses you."

"I miss him too. Did you tell him that?"

"You can tell him that next time you visit, okay?"

Eagerly nodding Leo turns back to Harry, "What's wrong with you? Are you sad about daddy?"

Rubbing his eyes to get rid of the last tears, Harry nods sadly, "Yes, I knew your daddy very well. I am very sad that he died."

Wriggling in Hermione's grip, the boy outstretches both arms towards the older raven. The man shyly takes him in his arms, relishing in the feeling of holding his own son. The boy hugs him tightly in an attempt to make him happy again, according to him. Then he leans away again and asks a question that shocks Harry.

"Are you my dad?"

"What? Why do you think that?" the older asks surprised.

"You are so sad about daddy, so maybe you loved him. And auntie Hermione let it slip once that my dad's name is Harry, like you," the boy explains seriously.

Again tears fill the green eyes, "Yes, little one I am. And I really loved Draco, your daddy."

"Did you make daddy go away?" the boy looks suspiciously.

"No," Harry says softly, "No, I could never hurt him. And I miss him so much."

"Then you're good!" Leo grins and hugs Harry's neck tightly, connecting with his second father for the first time in his life.

 _'I will be the best I can for you and the memory of Draco. Dray, I am sorry for leaving and whatever I did to you. I love you so much. And I will forever,'_ Harry thinks as he looks out of the window, directing the words at his former lover.

He smiles and presses the child close to him. After five years of missing out on too many important things he looks forward to living with his son from now on, even if Draco can't be with him anymore.

* * *

 **That's it. Thanks for reading.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it. I will try my best to write my next HP story without mpreg.**

 **Maybe see you at some other Fanfic.**


End file.
